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Duke's AM cliff notes for 01/06/2012

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Duke's AM cliff notes for 01/06/2012

Unread postby Duke » Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:42 pm

Duke's AM cliff notes for 01/06/2012

Good Morning, as usual, we have good news and bad news. The good news is that some of the powers to be are trying to put their differences aside in order to form a united front. The bad news is that, some blocs still will not consed to a united government and still bombing their own.

We had hoped that when the U. S. pulled out that things would settle down, but that has not happened yet. But we are still hopeful that the government of Iraq will become settled and stable and the people will soon find stability in the government and with this stability, the people Iraq will become more prosperous and the RV will soon happen that will both help the country of Iraq and the people of Iraq and yes, when it RV;s, it will also be prosperous for those that hold the Iraqi dinar.

Have a great day and RV soon.

1. No currency auction today.

2. Word of the Day: Friday January 6, 2012: sprat

3. Tax filing deadline: IRS moves it to April 17

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5. Iraq Shi'ite militia says ready to lay down weapons

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6. President Talabani: the army must be kept free of any allegiances, only loyalty to the nation and the larger society in all their diversity and its components

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7. Barham Salih: We are all hungry for an independent homeland will not risk losing our gains if we see a peaceful and democratic Iraq

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8. Leader of the Sadrist movement withdraws from the celebration of the establishment of the army in protest at the presence of Jeffrey

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P. S. Fighter Plane Warranty Card
McDonnell Douglas


Important! Important!

Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other

First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________

Latitude________________________Longitude_________ _________________________

Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc._________________

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

_F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-117A Stealth _Classified

3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

4. Serial Number____________________

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

_Received as Gift/Aid Package
_Catalog Showroom
_Sleazy Arms Broker
_Mail Order
_Discount Store
_Government Surplus

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Store Display
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by Manufacturer
_Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

_Recommended by salesperson
_ McDonnell Douglas Reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Back-Room Politics
_Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

_North America
_Central/South America
_Aircraft Carrier
_Middle East
_Asia/Far East
_Misc. Third-World Countries

9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:

Product Own Intend to purchase
Color TV
Killer Satellite
CD Player
Air-to-Air Missiles
Space Shuttle
Home Computer
Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

_Crazed (Islamic)
_Crazed (Other)
_Corrupt (Latin American)
_Corrupt (Other)

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

_Suitcases of Cocaine
_Oil Revenues
_Deficit Spending
_Personal Check
_Credit Card
_Ransom Money
_Traveler's Check

12. Occupation You Your Spouse

Middle Management
Eccentric Billionaire
Defense Minister/General

13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
Default on Loans
Black Market/Smuggling
Watching Sports on TV
Household Pets
Crushing Rebellions
Fashion Clothing
Border Disputes
Mutually Assured Destruction

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

PP. SS. Grinch Test
How to Tell if You're a Grinch

This is a set of essential personality tests to prepare you misfit readers for Christmas and your New Year's resolutions:

1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name (5 points).

2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out).

3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points).

4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.

5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends (5 points for each infraction).

6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas Day (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.

7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party).

8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own (Southern California only, others ignore: 5 points).

9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).

10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no (20 points).

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100:

20-30: You are just a cheeseball.
30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.
50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.

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